Guidelines for Weddings at St. Philip's Episcopal Church

Because of the serious nature of Christian marriage, and the injunction placed upon the Christian Community that "marriage not be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and deliberately," the following guidelines have been established to help you as you contemplate participating in the Sacrament of Christian Marriage.  The following regulations are observed to comply with the policies established by the Episcopal Church and have been approved by the Vestry of St. Philip’s.

Regulations of the Episcopal Church

For a first marriage

• A thirty (30) day notice to the clergy is required but may be waived for weighty causes if one of the parties is known to the clergy and is a member of the congregation.

• Premarital counseling is required.

• At least one of the parties must be baptized.

 For a re-marriage after divorce or annulment

• All of the above must be observed.

• Before any firm date is set for the marriage ceremony, permission must first be secured from the Bishop and will not be applied for until premarital counseling is well underway.

 Regulations at St. Philip's

 St. Philip's complies with the regulations of the Episcopal Church and the Diocese of Michigan regarding appropriate notification, counseling and consent from the Bishop.  Let the clergy be one of the first to know when an engagement is contemplated or agreed upon. 

• The required premarital counseling takes 12-18 hours. 

• There is a $50.00 application fee to cover the cost of counseling and testing materials.  This is payable at the second counseling session.

• All other fees or contributions are to be given to the clergy at the time of the rehearsal. They will be delivered to the appropriate person by the clergy.

• It is expected that one of the parties being married is an active member of St. Philip's Church or is related to an active member of St. Philip’s.

• Weddings are not normally done in Lent nor on Sundays.

 The Service

 The service for Holy Matrimony is according to the 1979 Book of Common Prayer.  The Prayer Book provides opportunity for a variety of options.  The use of friends or relatives as readers, the inclusion of personal expressions, and the choice of scriptural readings allow the opportunity for each couple to "design" the service according to their wishes.  All of these 'variables' will be discussed thoroughly during the premarital counseling sessions.  It is customary to include the service of Holy Eucharist if both parties are baptized.  Note:  It has been our experience that children under 4 years old are not able to handle  the pressure of being part of a wedding party.

Selection of Music

All arrangements for music are to be made directly with the Director of Music.  A consultation needs to be arranged no less than two months in advance of the ceremony.  If a soloist is to be used, s/he must also consult with the Director of Music and must arrange for rehearsal in advance.  Other instrumentalists may be used, by arrangement with the Director of Music.

The fee for the Director of Music/Organist is $140.00.  An additional rehearsal fee for the organist to rehearse with a soloist or other instrumentalists is required and must be arranged for with the Director of Music.  Fees for  soloists or instrumentalists are additional and are to be arranged for directly with that person, or with the Director of Music.

The marriage ceremony is more than the exchange of vows by an engaged couple.  It is an act of worship in which the Bride and Groom, together with their families and friends, gather to offer thanks and praise to God and to ask God's blessing on their union.  Therefore, music which stresses the action of God in the blessing of the marriage is recommended.  Music that brings to mind strictly secular situations (e.g. Broadway musicals, popular or sentimental dimensions of love and marriage, etc.) is not appropriate to this intention.  Music used for the prelude, entrance, and exit will also follow these guidelines.  There are many marches, voluntaries, etc., which make a beautifully fitting accompaniment to the nature of the wedding celebration in the Christian church.  The Director of Music can demonstrate a wide selection from which to choose.  The lyrics of vocal selections used during the ceremony need to have reference to God, who IS love, as well as celebrate human love.  Also consider using congregational hymns.  There are many familiar hymns which are appropriate for entrance and exit music, as well as for use during the ceremony.  The use of hymns is an excellent way of helping those assembled to share in the occasion.  All wedding music must be approved in advance by both the clergy and the Music Director. 

Receptions

Receptions may be held at the church.  However, arrangements are to be made directly with the Episcopal Church Women, who would serve as hosts.  Please contact the church office (248-651-6188) for the name and telephone number of the current E.C.W. President.  Fees for receptions will vary according to the number of people expected and the extent of the preparation by the E.C.W.  (i.e., catering the reception vs. merely serving for a caterer, etc.) Copies of the Guidelines for the Use of Alcohol are available from the church office upon request.

Flowers, Candles, and Other Decorations

Arrangements for these are to be made through your florist in consultation with the Altar Guild Directress.  The church's florist may be contacted, or you may use a florist of your own choice. In addition to the usual altar candles, only candles that are protected by globes will be permitted (i.e., at the ends of the pews).  The use of a “unity candle” is discouraged.  The use of a white aisle runner is not permitted. 

All of these 'extras' are the responsibility of the wedding party or the florist who are to have preparations completed at least one hour before the service.  Anything which is not removed from the church will be discarded by Sunday morning, unless other arrangements are made in advance with the Altar Guild Directress or the clergy.  Altar flower arrangements are to be delivered to the church by 10:00 a.m. on Saturday mornings, unless other arrangements are made with the Altar Guild Directress.  One arrangement customarily remains in the church for use on Sunday morning in thanksgiving for the marriage.  In the event that two weddings are scheduled for the same day, we encourage both bridal parties to work together on common arrangements for the church, if possible. 

Custodial Cleanup

The church's custodial service will prepare the church and parlor before each wedding and clean up after the ceremony.  The fee for this service is $50.00 and is to be paid in cash.   The use and throwing of RICE after the ceremony is prohibited for two reasons:

1.   It is an unnecessary waste of a human food product.

2.   It can be slippery to walk on after thrown.

The use of birdseed is suggested as a substitute.  There will, however, be an additional fee of $25.00 charged for the cleaning of the plaza if birdseed is used.  Please indicate your intention in this regard prior to the final counseling session. 

Seating Capacity

St. Philip's will comfortably accommodate 230 people.  By using the narthex and parlor areas many more may be seated.  Please keep this in mind when preparing your guest list.

Service Bulletins

The use of a service bulletin is optional.  However, a bulletin does provide wedding guests with an order of worship to guide them through the service and is an attractive memento of the ceremony.  The church’s Administrative Assistant can assist in the selection and purchase of  appropriate and attractive bulletin stock.  For a modest fee, the church office can assist you in the design and printing of the bulletins.  If the church office is expected to prepare and print the bulletin, a four week notice is expected.  In any case, the final proof copy must be approved by the clergy performing the marriage before printing.  Please contact the Administrative Assistant during regular office hours for additional information.